Note: The original document named who said these, but I’ve edited them out to protect people’s privacy (including mine, haha)
“We just watched the sunset…at !” (on the plane to
“No malaria in my room!” – During a class meeting in his room.
“I’m going to go play emperor.” – At the Red Fort.
“Do you get a commission?” –To Jim, after he recommended a certain bookstore (the answer is “no”).
“I think it is unhealthy to be that attached to an inanimate object.” –Jim to someone about something she left at home because of worries something would happen to it.
“I’ve got a bullwhip and I know how to use it!” – after someone bought a bullwhip in
“Gotta love global
warming.” – About
“Yeah…Baba had some pretty big breasts.” – About the posters
of a saint we were given at the Ashram in
“Holy cow!” – Completely unknowingly, about a cow in the
“Palmistry is a great way to pick up chicks.”
“But my marriage line is nonexistent.”
“Who said anything about marriage?”
“I don’t know if I like brown… Yup. Don’t like brown.” About her food at one restaurant.
“We ordered an hour a half ago.” –Everybody to one person at the restaurant.
“So…how long did the food take?” – In response.
“I’d rather be strangled than bitten.” – About being killed by snakes.
“Poison is the animal equivalent of a gun.”
“What did you do today?”
“Bread.” In reply, misunderstanding the question.
“I’m smoking for freedom.”
One person gives another a granola bar.
A third person asks: “Would you like to try some sweets?” …referring to Indian sweets
“I am, it’s called a granola bar.” in reply.
“I’m definitely constipated.”
“I know they drink tea.” – When asked if he knew anything about cricket.
“They don’t drink cricket!”
“Jumping jacks come from
“I hate it. Who had this stupid idea?”
“I just had diarrhea…and it felt soooo good.” –Anon.
“That’s what it is. I’m pregnant. I’m going to have an Indian baby. Or maybe a cow.” One woman’s comment on her stomach troubles.
“Here comes the great white giant.” referring to Jim.
“These trains are like jail: three metal bunks, food on metal trays, nasty latrines…”
“In jail you have TV and you can smoke.”
“Right. Jail’s better.”
“What do you consider yourself: American or Minnesotan?”
“What are you, like, a timberwolf?”
“August 32nd.” –Trying to guess someone’s birthday.
“He’s still hitting on me!” – About the eyebrow kid at the restaurant.
“I know everything about love.” –After finishing reading the Kama Sutra.